This is my first time writing a blog.
I have never even kept a journal, a private place for gathering my thoughts - let alone a very public forum where thoughts are put 'out there' in cyberspace for everyone to see, out of my control, in who knows who's hands!

I'm assuming everyone who reads these posts knows who I am so I wont go into too many details. I will just very briefly explain why I'm writing this blog.

As you know, I lived in Israel for almost 10 years, in total. I went to high school there, served in the army, and had a regular life like everyone else there. In 1992 I went to South Africa for 6 months, and then returned to Montreal to start my university studies. During my MA research, I came across some information about the previous life of my uncles's village in Israel, Kerem Maharal - it used to be called Izjim before 1948. I was floored. Boulversé. How did I not know that? And this was the beginning of the deconstruction of a life-time of mis-truths.

As I am writing this there is so much that is going through my mind. Like my father used to be the Executive Director of the Jewish National Fund in Canada, and was behind the huge fundraising campaign to raise money to build Canada Park - which we now know is built on the ruins of the Palestinian villages Imwas, Yalu and Beit Nuba.

Uch, so much for being brief.

Anyways, in 2000-2001 when we went back for the year, I got involved in the Israeli 'radical left' as it is known (peace movement), and spent a lot of time at demos in the West Bank and doing other volunteer work, like participating in convoys to bring humanitarian aid to villages in the West Bank, and visiting women in a hospital in Tel Aviv, women who were there with their kids, from refugee camps in Gaza, who had a permit to stay in the hospital and not go out the doors. They were there for weeks, often not knowing they would be required to stay for weeks, and so often with no change of clothes, no toothbrush, books... and not speaking a word of Hebrew. Anyhow, I digress again.

There were so few people working in these areas that when we decided to come back to Montreal, I felt guilty for years at having 'deserted' the cause. And this was, I think, a big part of the reason I have not gone back since. You know, out of sight out of mind. There were other reasons but they were all 'technical' (the kids, we fly standby, my job etc).

This past summer my sister moved back to Israel after almost 10 years in Montreal. It was so my kids could visit their cousins that I said 'ok we have to go' and I think that while this is true, it was also the push I needed to open the barrier a bit. I could not continue to put it off for the rest of eternity.

I mentioned this trip and some of my feelings around it to a colleague at Equitas who writes very powerful blogs about his experiences facilitating human rights education training sessions around the world, and he suggested I think of writing a blog. So here I am, writing my first entry.

In a couple of days, I'll be in Israel (if we get on the flight). I'll try not to write too many postings while I'm there. I'd be really happy to receive any comments from you, and I do apologize to anyone out there who may be offended by some of the things I say. But hey, it's my blog :)

OK, this is certainly long enough for the first entry.